Loads of mush.

First off lets just say that the day my little boy was born was the hardest day emotionally and physically of my life. At the end of it all, it was worth every minute. My labor experience was one left to discuss in therapy! So we will sum it up by one sentence. He should have been a c-section.

Beware, if you read on you are acknowledging that you are subjecting yourself to loads of mush, and sap. Also from this post forward if you are offended by the words boob, or crap maybe you should quit reading now....

Still there? Ok.....

Being a mom is weird, and amazing. It makes you cry at songs about love, life and children. It makes you analyze poopy diapers more than you care to admit. It has made me grow up, and love something more then I ever thought possible. Don't get me wrong I love my family, and I love my husband... but the love for your child is so different. It is something that stumps me for words. Thats not an easy thing to do.

Coen is a hair lord. He sometimes looks like Buddha, and sometimes Elvis. Most of the time I think he looks like me when I was a baby....



...with his fathers mouth and chin. I am grateful I procreated with a good looking dude. We made hell of a cute kid.


All looks aside... he is healthy! God gave me a healthy baby! I swore he was going to have elephantitis, or a rare disease. But no! He is good as perfect, besides a bit of a chapped bum.

When he was born I held him for 30 minutes before they took him away to do the weight, apgar and look over.


The Dr felt a bit remorseful for the latter part of my delivery so she went Nazi bitch on any nurse who tried to take him from me. I didn't weep, or anything like that. I just lay there with this thing on my chest. He was in me. He was the alien moving in my belly. He is what was going to change my life forever.





I love my time off! In the past i couldn't stay in the house for very long, I got stir crazy. Now days go by and I cant believe how much less I care about the little things that seemed to matter so much before. Although a bit of eyeliner and gloss do go a long way for a girls vanity. (not to mention squeezing into my fat pants a week post baby!)

I have been fine tuning my trial and error ablilites. What works and what doesn't. He is pretty stinking easy right now. I realize this won't last forever. I cant just lay next to him and take pictures of his little face forever.



I have been having a tough time with the thought of him getting older and bigger. Everything has been pretty close to perfect but this one thing hangs over my head. Jan keeps reminding me that there is so much to look forward to. I explain it like this: Have you ever been on a break from school or work for a bit and the very last day is bitter sweet? Its kinda like a months of Sundays.. or like the last day of your honeymoon. You are grateful for it, but you can't get past the fact it wont last much longer and reality will set in. Back to the real world. I don't like the real world. I like my pajama's and snuggle time world. I just need to let go of the inevitable and not spend any time or energy on these thoughts. He is mine, he is not going anywhere and even if he isn't going to be a peanut forever, he will still be amazing. Just louder, fussier, and probably a bit less floppy.

Morgan forgets he is in the room. She loves him, but it doesn't keep her from singing Simon and Garfunkel at the top of her lungs in the car.... when he is sleeping. She helps with baths, feeds him a bottle and kicks the dogs when they get too close.

She tells people to stop fussing with his clothes and blanket.. "he doesn't like it." She will enjoy him more when he is a bit bigger and less sleepy. I love when she kisses his lips and he makes duck lips in return.




So I could write a book on the last 2 weeks, but I won't. I have a little man who needs a boob...



till next time!