Easter, past and present

I love my family, I especially love Saturday mornings. Jan usually gets a long run in, and Morgan "is quiet" if she wake before Co and I. But in all honesty she makes as much noise as possible, so it is obvious she is ready for brother and I to get up. So we start our day with a big breakfast and usually stay in our p.j's till 10 am!

Every morning she is with us she loves to walk into Coen's room (when we know he is awake) and she and I peek over the crib and say "Gooooooood Morning". Coen flashes a big gummy grin and Morgan chuckles.

We have been hitting the library a lot, getting books for the kids and Wii games to try. Morgan loves to get books for Coen. She thinks he is pretty neat. She loves him more and more each time she is around him. I picked her up from dance this week, she didn't know Coen and I were getting her... the look on her face when she saw us was priceless.... Not even her Easter basket got that big of a smile!

On a different note, I miss our family. I miss my sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews, and of course my mom and dad. I wish I could figure a way to get Coen to see them more. I feel like he doesn't have enough family around. I will have to make an effort to work on getting home more. In a few weeks we are heading back, it gives me so much to look forward to. I just hope Coen's "stranger danger" is minimal. He sometimes will be in a weird mood and not find new faces very amusing.

What a big month ahead! Easter this weekend... Jan's half marathon next weekend... going back home for Nathan's graduation... Coen's 6 month pictures AND shots... Mother's Day... Jan and I's 2 year anniversary... Morgan's dance recital.. Memorial Day weekend.. and Coen's baptism!!!!

We are so blessed. I know that life has changed for the better, and I can only anticipate it getting even more fulfilling! I have new goals and hope that God helps me focus on the things that matter the most.. I even have picked up the Bible for the first time (with a real effort). Now don't get me wrong... I still curse like a sailor, and love to drink my 2nd and 3rd glass here and there, but I know now there is so much more to life... and I have a lot to learn and I want to be able to teach my little boy about who has blessed us with all these wonderful things in our lives.

Tis the season to celebrate our faith, Happy Easter!

I came across these pictures from our first Easter together.

Who would have guessed we would be where we are now....

Baby food

Coen's first food..sweet potato



So far we have made sweet potatoes, green peas, squash, pears, and brown rice cereal. I use Ball Fresh Fruit Perserver powder to keep fruits from browning. It is safe for baby and an excellent source of vitamin C and contains antioxidants.

Here is how I made the brown rice cereal.. (Courtesy of Wholesomebabyfood.com)

The best way to cook Brown Rice for Baby Food or Baby Cereal
You may use a rice cooker for the quickest and no-fuss perfect brown rice all the time. Using a rice cooker means that you will need to puree the already cooked whole rice grains however. When cooking the "rice powder" for homemade baby cereal, use 1/4 cup of powder per 1-2 cups of water - more or less as you see fit. The key is to whisk whisk whisk as you are cooking to avoid clumping.

Why Brown, But Not White, Rice is One of the World's Healthiest Foods - courtesy of Whole Foods
The difference between brown rice and white rice is not just color. A whole grain of rice has several layers. Only the outermost layer, the hull, is removed to produce what we call brown rice. This process is the least damaging to the nutritional value of the rice and avoids the unnecessary loss of nutrients that occurs with further processing. If brown rice is further milled to remove the bran and most of the germ layer, the result is a whiter rice, but also a rice that has lost many more nutrients.

At this point, however, the rice is still unpolished, and it takes polishing to produce the white rice we are used to seeing. Polishing removes the aleurone layer of the grain-a layer filled with health-supportive, essential fats. Because these fats, once exposed to air by the refining process, are highly susceptible to oxidation, this layer is removed to extend the shelf life of the product.

The resulting white rice is simply a refined starch that is largely bereft of its original nutrients.

Easy & Nutritious Brown Rice Baby Food Recipes:
Brown Rice Cereal (make it Organic by using Organic Brown Rice.)

1/4 c. rice powder (brown rice ground in blender or food processor)
1 cup water

1. Bring liquid to boil in saucepan. Add the rice powder while stirring constantly.
3. Simmer for 10 minutes, whisking constantly, mix in formula or breast milk and fruits if desired
3. Serve warm.

Add pureed fruits and vegetables to baby's homemade brown rice cereal - ensure that you have followed the 4 day wait rule.

So in love...A kind of love I have heard about, but there are no real words to express.

Coen is 5 months old this week. He has changed my life, my relationships and my priorities. I am a better person, and strive to be the best mommy and wife I can be.

Since my last blog, I had to go in for some fix er uppers.. I continued to be in pain for following 10 weeks post baby. I went in to make sure things were ok, and there was some soft tissue granulation. In laymen terms, there was scar tissue that had nerve supply and was causing a lot of discomfort. We schedule surgery to fix what his over sized sunnyside (he was born prone instead of supine) head did to momma. I am all better now, but still very apprehensive for more babies... we will see..

Less about me and more about the boy!!!

Coen is taking on such a personality. He is a very good baby. I can't believe how much easier it is then what I anticipated. Jan says it's God throwing me a bone after all i have gone through.



He pretty much falls in to the text book description of where he should be with his sleep, motor skills and health. He is above average for length, weight, and head size. He has his momma's thighs. Our daycare lady jokes that he digs his mom's "groceries". He is a healthy eater. I thought nursing was going to be a struggle for me.. it didn't seem very "natural" when i was pregnant. I learned it is not only very natural but it is an amazing bond, and sense of purpose. There isn't a time I don't acknowledge how lucky i am to be able to give him part of me to make him flourish and grow. It is about the only time I get to hold him and snuggle him.

He is a WIGGLE worm. My mom was surprised how he doesn't like to be held long. He is so independent. At 3 months he was ready to hop down on the floor and get to playing, he is ready to MOVE! He loves to be amongst people, and different things to look at. There are times when loading him in the car he smiles at me while I buckle him in. As if her was saying "Yea mommy, we get to go somewhere?" I think he gets that from me. He doesn't want to be couped up for too long. There is too much out there in the world to see and experience, and he doesn't want to miss a thing!



I could write for days on every little thing about Coen, his quirks and his dislikes. I am going to try and make an effort to do better on keeping up on our blog. It is just hard to find that mental time. It is kinda like when you go a long time without talking to a friend, and you want to put the time and effort into catching up.. but you know it is going to take awhile to sort all that has happened out!

So here are some things about little man that stand out right now.
He loves water, baths and the pool. He watches his sissy swim around and he seems to want to jump right in with her. (we are going to have our hands full) He falls asleep in his crib very easily, and prefers this to being rocked or snuggled to sleep. BUT he must have something (preferably his little taggie blankie) to put over his head. Yes he likes to cover his face with something when going to sleep. He enjoys me singing at church, or just while I am in the shower. He coo's and yells right along. I think not only did he look a bit like Elvis when he was littler, but he kinda moves and sings like him too. Maybe we have a little performer on our hands.. maybe a musician? I would like to hope so.

I miss my family a lot. This has turned out to be one of the biggest challenges.

I wish for both Coen and myself that there was more family close by to see him grow and change. I am grateful for the family Jan has here, but do miss mine terribly. We get to see them once and a while, but so much changes in-between visits. Skype has been helpful, although i know it is hard to see him and not be able to hold him.

Lately Coen has been rolling ALL around. He loves his toes, and he loves to make this loud growling/grunting sound. It basically sounds like he is trying to poopy doo.. but Jan is convinced he is impersonating the "Incredible Hulk". He loves to hang is head upside down and giggle at his sister or squeeze the dogs. I like to read to him, but he has a short attention span, and prefers to be on the floor and mobile.

Having such an active baby makes our down time when he snuggles that much more precious. I have a routine that before I go to work and take him to daycare, I sit and feed him with no distractions for a bit. I see it as my time to give him my undivided attention and I often whisper in his ear affirmations of my love. My favorite is "I love you sooooo much. Too much. To the moon and back." He doesn't say much in return but his gummy grin confirms he understands and he loves me too.

Loads of mush.

First off lets just say that the day my little boy was born was the hardest day emotionally and physically of my life. At the end of it all, it was worth every minute. My labor experience was one left to discuss in therapy! So we will sum it up by one sentence. He should have been a c-section.

Beware, if you read on you are acknowledging that you are subjecting yourself to loads of mush, and sap. Also from this post forward if you are offended by the words boob, or crap maybe you should quit reading now....

Still there? Ok.....

Being a mom is weird, and amazing. It makes you cry at songs about love, life and children. It makes you analyze poopy diapers more than you care to admit. It has made me grow up, and love something more then I ever thought possible. Don't get me wrong I love my family, and I love my husband... but the love for your child is so different. It is something that stumps me for words. Thats not an easy thing to do.

Coen is a hair lord. He sometimes looks like Buddha, and sometimes Elvis. Most of the time I think he looks like me when I was a baby....



...with his fathers mouth and chin. I am grateful I procreated with a good looking dude. We made hell of a cute kid.


All looks aside... he is healthy! God gave me a healthy baby! I swore he was going to have elephantitis, or a rare disease. But no! He is good as perfect, besides a bit of a chapped bum.

When he was born I held him for 30 minutes before they took him away to do the weight, apgar and look over.


The Dr felt a bit remorseful for the latter part of my delivery so she went Nazi bitch on any nurse who tried to take him from me. I didn't weep, or anything like that. I just lay there with this thing on my chest. He was in me. He was the alien moving in my belly. He is what was going to change my life forever.





I love my time off! In the past i couldn't stay in the house for very long, I got stir crazy. Now days go by and I cant believe how much less I care about the little things that seemed to matter so much before. Although a bit of eyeliner and gloss do go a long way for a girls vanity. (not to mention squeezing into my fat pants a week post baby!)

I have been fine tuning my trial and error ablilites. What works and what doesn't. He is pretty stinking easy right now. I realize this won't last forever. I cant just lay next to him and take pictures of his little face forever.



I have been having a tough time with the thought of him getting older and bigger. Everything has been pretty close to perfect but this one thing hangs over my head. Jan keeps reminding me that there is so much to look forward to. I explain it like this: Have you ever been on a break from school or work for a bit and the very last day is bitter sweet? Its kinda like a months of Sundays.. or like the last day of your honeymoon. You are grateful for it, but you can't get past the fact it wont last much longer and reality will set in. Back to the real world. I don't like the real world. I like my pajama's and snuggle time world. I just need to let go of the inevitable and not spend any time or energy on these thoughts. He is mine, he is not going anywhere and even if he isn't going to be a peanut forever, he will still be amazing. Just louder, fussier, and probably a bit less floppy.

Morgan forgets he is in the room. She loves him, but it doesn't keep her from singing Simon and Garfunkel at the top of her lungs in the car.... when he is sleeping. She helps with baths, feeds him a bottle and kicks the dogs when they get too close.

She tells people to stop fussing with his clothes and blanket.. "he doesn't like it." She will enjoy him more when he is a bit bigger and less sleepy. I love when she kisses his lips and he makes duck lips in return.




So I could write a book on the last 2 weeks, but I won't. I have a little man who needs a boob...



till next time!

Go towards the light!

38 weeks pregnant. We are all set and ready to go. I am not working anymore, due to the massive lump in my mid section. He used to be squishy and I could work around him. Now he is a little person and I respect he needs to not be squashed for hours at a time with my job. Not to mention I am just pooped! I have my moments of mania, where I can conquer the world and all that nesting involves. But then I crash, literally. On the couch and can't move because I have over done it. I can tell he is ready too.. if only our combined needs were heard. He stretches and moves around a lot still. They say activity levels go down when you are closer to delivery. I beg to differ, he makes me jump when he tosses his butt or limbs around. I swear this child has his mamma's booty. He wiggles and sticks it out it kinda looks like a tidal wave across my abdomen. Its pretty amusing and creepy all at the same time.

We found out from the last few checkups that we are progressing. It doesn't mean it will be tomorrow, but it is good to know my body is doing what it is supposed to. We are 70% effaced and 1 cm dilated.

I have been hoping for a Halloween baby. As long as when he comes out there isn't any clowns, vampires or kitty's helping with the debut. That would be my luck, a hospital staff in full Halloween getup when little man makes his entrance! That not be what I would want to see first thing on this earth!

Jan is getting more and more excited. So is Morgan. Its just now to the point we just want him to be here with us. When we sit on the couch it just doesn't feel complete yet.

I pray for a healthy normal baby. I know God doesn't give us more than what he thinks we can handle. I have anxiety's about the delivery and how things will go when he arrives. I have an amazing support system and a great dr, so I know we are both in good hands. Prayers are always appreciated though ;)

I have such an appreciation for these beautiful fall days and time off It is easy to get caught up in all the planning and anticipation, sometimes it is nice to just to take a moment and count all my blessings. I know it's not Thanksgiving yet... but it doesn't take a turkey and some taters for me to acknowledge I am one of the luckiest people in the world! Despite some discomfort and lack of patients lately... I am a pretty happy with the way things have turned out.

Where is he at now?

I keep asking Jan "where is he at now?" What I mean by this is, in a few months when we are doing this, where will the baby be? We were sitting on the couch downstairs watching Greys Anatomy, and I ask "where is he at now?" I guess I am just trying to get an idea what life will be like in a few months (actually 6 weeks).

I love that Jan has had experience with all of this before. It helps tremendously. What doesn't help... uncertainty.

I am getting anxious, nervous, excited and scared all at the same time. I feel at moments that I can't wait another day to meet him. Then there are moments that I don't think I am ready, or that I know what to do as a full time mom.

I am a planner, and a bit of a control freak. I don't like not having any control over situations, especially ones of such huge significance! I have switched my prayers to him staying nice and comfy in the breach position so that the Dr will just plan a C Section. That way we have a day and time that we know he will arrive. This not knowing if, and when, and where is driving me nuts!

I just want him to be healthy and "normal". I want him to be a good baby. Not one that turns red and purple from wailing at the top of his little lungs for hours on end. He is such a good baby right now....

On a different note... my baby shower was wonderful. It was low key and i really enjoyed just hanging out with friends and family. We had it in a courtyard outside my cousins "tavern".













I was exceptionally exhausted that day with lack of sleep and emotions running high. I loved sitting with my loved ones and talking about my little mans soon to be arrival. We didn't measure, smell, or taste anything goofy. No games, just decorating a few onsies and patches for a keepsake quilt I plan to make down the road. Thank you to all who came to the shower, and thank you for all the gifts for our little guy. We are blessed and so is he. He will be a spoiled little boy!

We hope you are all doing well, and enjoying the change in seasons. I know I am! I have been cooking a lot. Chili, banana bread, cabbage burgers, apple crisp, oh my! Jan says I am trying to find things to do since my nesting started so early. I have ran out of things to do in preparation!

I will keep everyone posted on the weeks to come. When we find out more on the baby and his position we will have more of an idea of whats ahead for his arrival!

Take care!

Who hired the drunk secretary?

I often find myself looking around the room trying to figure out what I initially came in it for. My best description is that my brain went on hiatus, and my body hired a new secretary. A drunk one. She is clueless at times, but it can be endearing. Seriously mid sentence I will have forgotten what I even started to say.

So new stuff going on...


My 30th birthday was great, Jan and Trista surprised me with a "lemonaide" themed party. They had The Parthenon cater in. The weather was amazing considering it was in the middle of July. I was in bed by 10 with a belly full of cake, and new memories made.




Well our Dr appts are more frequent and all has been good. No diabetes, and we are right on track with growth (both of us!!!) The only concern is he is still breech, but we aren't worried about this too much right now.

I haven't been able to sleep as good as before. I can't get comfortable, and when I do I have dreams about things even Freud couldn't explain. Micheal Jackson trying to hunt me down, all the way to meeting art buyers fighting for George Clooney's fine collection. That doesn't even scratch the surface! What will life be like after all this "weirdness" subsides? Will I be so consumed with analyzing baby poo that I wont remember life pre baby?

I worry I am going to miss him being in my belly. I never thought I'd get real ooey gooey, but I have sold out. I love the reminders of his presence. I want to nick name him "boots". He does these waves across my stomach and often lands with a large boot to my side. Morgan gets to see and feel him move now. Jan puts a remote on my belly and it moves with his movements. Soon I swear he will be kicking my clients on the table during massages!








We have all our classes set up for the next few months. A siblings class for Morgan, and some infant first aid, and CPR. I am starting to feel the pressure to make sure things are good to go.

We have 9 weeks left. I am split on how fast it is going. As I said earlier, I am attached to my buddha belly. He is so easy to take everywhere... and I don't have to do much to make him happy. I know when it gets closer I will be ready. I think that is God's plan... to make us very uncomfortable towards the end so we are ready to meet our children, and not hold them hostage in our belly's forever.

This part of summer is a bit trying. I do hope this fall is nice and I will be able to enjoy the outdoors more before hibernating for the winter with my new family. It is hard being cooped up inside when Jan is working outdoors on the yard or the cars..



Speaking of cars, Jan and I made a big decision (yes Jan had a say so!). We traded in his big beast of a diesel for a new(er) Tahoe. Since he was just commuting in the pickup we decided to get something that functioned for the whole family. Hey at least it wasn't a minivan!! This way we can still pull things behind it, and have our whole family fit (don't forget the frogs (dogs)) We felt a little worried about our decision until we saw the ear to ear grin on Morgans face the first time she sat in the way back. She is in love. Jan is adjusting to not having his work truck anymore. He has came to accept that his pickup was getting a little tired, and has served its purpose. I guess we all are making sacrifices!



Here comes Husker season! We have an open invite for all to come celebrate at our home during the games... considering mamma wont fit into the tiny seats at Memorial Stadium!! We have our big screen down stairs and I even offer up my half of the booze.. but hey I will toast a drink with you come winter! Go Huskers!!!!